Two months before I’d make another attempt, I had read some article and my comprehension of it had been poor. I’d felt as though the writer was speaking way over my head. It all seemed so complicated, with economic jargon and foreign government policies strewn all over it. But I read the same article again […]
TRIBUTE TO CHUKWUEMEKA IKE
The exceptional writer, Prof. Chukwuemeka Ike, passed on two days ago. He was 88 years old. Many have written to commiserate with his family and the people of Ndikelionwu, to whom he was also a traditional ruler. To me, in many ways, he was a trailblazer and role model. I took interest in his works […]
HOW TO BECOME A MILLIONAIRE IN NIGERIA
(Caveat: Please engage your sense of humour in reading this article. Sentences may have deeper meanings than what can be readily gleaned on the surface. Or maybe not.) “If you no get money, hide your face,” sang Davido, a billionaire’s son and top musician. In Nigeria, you cannot be addressed as a respectable human being […]
THE UNIT OF LIFE
I remember when, as a teenager, I made my dad buy me a newspaper every week. It started when I was in senior secondary school, during one of those sessional breaks. As soon as the idea occurred to me, having successfully convinced him that I needed it, my father and I went out to get […]
APOLOGIES TO JOKER
It was during medical board exams I realised it was possible to write two long essays simultaneously. Ten minutes before final submission, I had three blank booklets before me! That moment must have been my biggest moment of clarity.
I AIN’T NOBODY’S BITCH
Em, my intention was to sleep early last night cos I wanted to wake up in time to jog this morning, so I went to bed around 12 midnight. Just as I put the pillow aside to catch some z’s (as I never sleep using a pillow, which means I’m pretending if you catch me […]
JKF WINNING ESSAY: THE EKITI OF MY DREAM
So, on October 15, 2018, I won the undergraduate category of John Kayode Fayemi Inauguration Essay Competition. Lots of people have been contacting me to get a copy of the essay, and I thought, for easy reference, I should just put it up here once and for all. Below is a picture taken at the […]
FICTIONAL CROSS-EXAMINATION IN A FICTIONAL COURTROOM
ABC: Please introduce yourself to the court, sir XYZ: My name is Dr. Kogberegbe Smart. I am a professional coroner. ABC: As a coroner, do you perform autopsies? XYZ: (Visibly irritated) Well, in “dull-man” language, as a coroner, I open up dead bodies to determine the cause and time of their death. Is that simple […]
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